Goodbye, Crocodile Station

November 13, 2014

As I pack my bags preparing to leave the farm, I can’t help but ask myself, “What went wrong?” I was so excited when this opportunity came up, I wanted it more than ever.. and now, I couldn’t get my ass faster off this farm if you paid me. So why? Was it really that horrible? In short.. no, it wasn’t. I was making sufficient money, the family was respectful towards me, I was teaching which I thoroughly enjoyed.. Then why do I despise being here so much? After making lists of things I liked and disliked trying to figure it all out.. It boils down to one thing. This place was lacking the thing that has kept me going my entire life: friends. I have none of them here. Being on this farm is best described as this.. You know the feeling of going stir crazy when you’ve been home all day and all you want to do is get out of the house? Well that’s been the ongoing feeling for the last six weeks. Since I arrived, I have only left this property a total of three times (and one of those was a 15 min drive up the road to open some gates for the cattle). Not having a car made it extremely captivating, you couldn’t escape. After class around 4:00, the family would do their own thing in their house and I would retreat to mine. Once inside I knew I wouldn’t be speaking until morning as there was no one to talk to.. On the weekends that meant days. It’ll make a man go mad. I think if there was simply another person here, someone on my level, to hang out with after hours this would have been a completely different scenario. Furthermore, when you’re alone you have a ton of time to think. Overall, this was a benefit of my time here. I was able to tackle some things riding my mind and brainstorm new avenues I want to explore in the future. I’ve been able to do some great reflecting and analyzation. However, too much time to think, as everyone knows, also can turn on you really quick. It can get dangerous and cyclical at times. Also, not to sound like an alcoholic, but damnit, I like my beer. After a longs week work, I want to unwind over some brews and relax. Also, the ranch staff left weeks ago so I haven’t had to cook for anyone. Furthermore, the alluded to horse back rides, hunting and overall cowboy activities never happened. Apparently I needed a special “license of safety” course before I could ride a horse or a 4-wheeler. Lastly, it’s my last hours here now and they are casually saying they’re not going to be the ones to pay for my bus ride back to Cairns. The job included transportation to and from now suddenly it doesn’t. There wasn’t even really a “thank you” given from the family, excepts from the girls. There was no appreciation shown. It’s strange. All in all, this was an overly lonely and boring time and I’m stoked to get the hell outta here. Teaching was the main thing I enjoyed here. The girls are great and teaching was never dull. It felt inherently good and a job I could go home feeling like I accomplished something for the better. I loved teaching; This was the best part about the farm. However, the lack of friends, cowboy activities, car, booze, appreciation and laughter made it a really difficult experience. I would work remotely on a farm again, just all of the above things need to be present for me to even consider it. Oh well, not all experiences can he great so onward I go. These next few months are gonna be epic. I have the Whitsunday Islands, Agnes Water, Frasier Island, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Surfers Paradise, Byron Bay, Sydney and Melbourne to look forward to! Bring on the new friends, bring on the adventure.. and get me off this damn farm!

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